February 3, 2016

"Hold your breath. Don't breathe. Stay right there."

We found a lump.
It's caused by a brain tumor.
Cancer.

I never thought I would sit in a doctors office and hear ANY of those things being said to ME.

Eight days ago, I did.

Over the past eight days I have gone through what feels like hell and back. Physical exams, blood work, cytology tests, an IV, morphine & toradol, three ultrasounds, CT scan and a mammogram.


Those shoes in those photos have carried me through a lot. Workouts, running, errands, preschool drop off and they have been with me through every appointment I've had in the last week. The miles walked in those shoes are many, and they are just getting started.

Right before I left to go to LA for the New Leaders Conference for Beachbody I started having some issues that were concerning. I wasn't feeling right and knew I needed to see my doctor. I made the earliest appointment I could which was two days after I returned from my trip.

At my appointment we talked extensively about my history (she's been my doctor for YEARS and delivered both of my babies) and what was currently going on. We talked through all my concerns which thankfully were all of her concerns as well (I like being on the same page from the get go).

We were concerned about issues that could mean a tumor in my pituitary gland (which is in your brain). We were concerned about hormone levels and then the dreaded, "hum.. do you feel that? That's a lump. We need to get that checked out asap." came. THAT I was not ready for.

We went pedal to the medal immediately. Running tests and labs. Some of those haven't come back from the lab yet, but what has come back has returned normal levels. #thankGod

Then suddenly I found myself in the Emergency Room in debilitating pain. Worse than anything I experienced with 28 hours of labor, two failed epidurals OR two c-sections and recovery from those. Yeah, it was BAD. More tests, labs and scans showed us an inflamed cyst on my ovary that was causing pelvic inflammation and all my pain.

This morning we traveled back to Atlanta to get an ultrasound and a mammogram to see what those scans can tell us.

"Hold your breath. Don't breathe. Stay right there."

We can't rule out ANYTHING yet. There's still a lot of "what if's" we're waiting on answers for. We can't assume anything and we can't take a victory lap - YET.

I'm young. I'm 28. It's rare to have these concerns and issues at my age. We actually had to fight to get the mammogram because I'm under 30. {I will say, it didn't hurt! I was expecting MUCH worse}

What we DO know - there is SOMETHING going on in my body that isn't normal. We just have to figure out what it is.

Because of all of this, you haven't seen workouts, meals or Shakeology from me in awhile. There's a reason. When going through all of these tests you basically have to be LAZY. No extra stress or supplements in your body whatsoever. They have to strip everything away to see what's going on.

So in addition to the last week being the most insane ride of my life, I couldn't do what my new normal is either. I've been stuck in a strange space. BUT, now that these tests are over with (for now) and we're just waiting on results, I can start to get back to MY normal. #thankGodagain

My life is a journey. It always has been and always will be. I'm starting to piece together what my NEW future will consist of from what we DO know. Lots of research to do to figure out the BEST inflammatory free lifestyle (and yes, it will consist of working out and Shakeology - don't be silly lol)
  
For those of you who have been there as a listening ear, allowed me to cry, helped with advice, thoughts, prayers and taking care of my babies - I cannot thank you enough. It means the world to me to know we have you to lean on.

I'm ready to move forward, no matter what the results may be and tackle it head on. #RenewMe doesn't take a break because life happens - life happens because of #RenewMe.

It's IMPORTANT to note that there has been no specific diagnosis. There are CURRENTLY no life-threatening concerns. HOWEVER, there are still A LOT of test results we're waiting on AND it could mean that yes, these possible diagnosis' didn't fit, but there's unresolved issues still needing answers.

Beginning of a LONG road ahead <3


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6 comments

  1. Payton!!! I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult and challenging time. I love you friend and I am praying for you daily! xoxox

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  2. Praying for you, Payton, and your precious family. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you, Mason, or Brynlee!

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  3. Sending healing vibes and prayers your way! You and your precious family will get through this in God's good time. Be strong!!!!

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  4. Praying for you Payton!! Psalm 23, He is with us through the darkest of valleys.

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  5. Praying for you Payton! If you need anything - please don't hesitate to ask! - Courtney

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  6. Oh Payton!!! I had NO idea!!!!!! :( keep me updated!!!!! This life is so crazy. Sometimes I can't even handle it. Ugh. Prayers your way!!!!

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